Are You a Homeschool Failure?

Do you ever feel like a homeschool failure, momma? 

Well, one thing I know is that because you’re even reading this, that’s a sign it’s probably not true. 

Moms that are truly failures don’t care about whether they failed. Or maybe you could say they’ve given up on caring. So at least you’re not there. 

Here are some things I know are true about you.

1. You love your children more than anyone else could even dream.
2. You care so much about your children’s education that you have taken it upon yourself to make it happen. 
3. You want to put awe and wonder in your children’s eyes as they learn and see the world.
4. You’ll do whatever it takes to give your children what they need. 
5. You want to see your children succeed.

No matter what you’re feeling, if what you are doing stems from these above things, pretty sure YOU AREN’T FAILING. You are not a not a homeschool failure.

So let’s investigate why you may think you have failed. 

Here are a few things you may be thinking.

“We didn’t get everything done we wanted to.”

• Are you doing too much? Expecting too much out of yourself? Too much of your kids?
• The truth is you can’t do everything. You honestly can’t! So you have to draw the line somewhere. That place is sanity. Well, maybe a few steps before the end of that would be better.
• You have time. Teach them to learn and give them a good foundation. They will be able to learn all the other things if they know how to learn. 
• Tomorrow is a new day. 
• Note: You aren’t a failure.

“I’m not doing enough.”

• We could probably fill every single hour of every single day and still not feel like we’re doing enough for our kids. There will always be lack. We are human. 
• You will never measure up to someone else’s standards. You may never measure up to your own for that matter. Take pride in making it your family’s homeschool and never look back.
• Note: You aren’t a failure.

“Homeschooling is hard.”

• I’m sorry to break it to you, but there’s not much of a way around this one. It’s hard to homeschool. But that doesn’t mean you’re failing as a homeschool mom.
• It gets easier over time with experience, but it also gets harder as they get older. 
• See if there are things you can do to help yourself cope with the difficulty. Use the phone a friend lifeline. Maybe you just need to give yourself some grace.
• Note: You aren’t a failure.

“Someone is crying.”

• Mom is crying – take a step back, add some chocolate, have a talk with a friend and that usually seems to do the trick. 
• My child is crying – does she need some chocolate too? Is he not feeling well? Or maybe you just need to go for a walk together and declare school is done for the day. It’ll still be there tomorrow. 
• It’s now tomorrow and we’re still crying – this could be a bigger problem. See if you can find the root of the problem and deal with that. Once again, I suggest the phone a friend lifeline for this one.
• Note: You aren’t a failure.

“I’m not enough for my kids.”

• Well this is just straight up not true.
• remember those 5 truths from earlier? Yep. That’s you. There is no one – no where – who is a better fit for your kids. You were made for each other. There is no one who knows them, understands them, loves them, wants the best for them, more than you do. That is true.

YOU. ARE. ENOUGH. 

What other things are you thinking and feeling right now? Now think through this logically…is that feeling true or do you just need to take a step back and re-focus? Maybe phone a friend?

What should I judge my homeschool success by?

Success at gardening is viewed by the flowering and fruit of the plant. Is your homeschool “producing fruit”? How do you know?

We could use the fruit of the spirit as a starting point:  love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Whether you’re a Christian or not, you probably can’t say any of those things are bad things to have your children produce in their lives. It probably doesn’t happen all the time, but these are good goals of the types of ‘fruit’ to see in your children. 

But I want to take it a step further. Since we’re talking school here, I want to add a couple more.

Do your kids love to learn and share what they have learned with others? 

Now when your son is excited about something he just learned to do in Minecraft, I can see your eyes start to glaze over. Or when your daughter tells you one more story she thought was amazing from the miniature baker on Youtube. 

But they’re learning and they’re spreading that knowledge. This is good fruit.

It may not be what you have in mind when you think about knowledge to instill in your kids. But I’ll tell you one thing. 

They’re getting the other stuff too. 

Sometimes you may see that same spark and sometimes the spark has to flicker in the coals for a while before it becomes a flame. 

But all those little sparks of interest you’re putting in your kids matter.

I was told years ago to care about the little things my kids talk about. Because if you want them to talk with you about the big things in life, you have to also listen to the little things. That goes for Minecraft and Youtube too. And maybe Cocomelon, but maybe I’ve gone too far. 

You may think that homeschooling is about checking boxes. And it is to some degree. But it’s so much more than that. 

If you are only caring about the boxes, then you may miss the fruit. The wonder. The love. I have to remind myself of this. I’m a big list maker. 

They say it’s about the journey, not the destination.

So what happens if we focus on the journey in our homeschools? Could it change how we do things?

Let’s compare these in homeschooling. 

I could probably go on and on, but hopefully you get the point.

Maybe you can sit down and write out each subject you are teaching your kids and see if focusing on the journey helps you get a different focus with homeschooling. It may even change your whole philosophy of education. 

Skipping that lesson may not feel so much like a homeschooling failure after all. And finishing the curriculum? Yeah not a big deal.

There is no one else you have to impress

Ultimately, there is no one else you are doing this for. You can’t homeschool like your friend or that blogger. You will homeschool like you. 

And it will be amazing!

Especially if you love your kids. And I know you do.

• So hug them when they’re scared,
• kiss them when you’re proud,
• show them the world,
• watch their eyes sparkle as they watch the dolphins,
• expose them to new things,
• help them build a fort in the living room,
• teach them how to make the best cookies,
• encourage them to do hard things,
• play monopoly with them,
• discuss all things Harry Potter and Minecraft,
• praise them when they swim across the pool,
• learn about all the things.
• Enjoy life with them. 

Enjoy life. And help them to love life and this world and the people in it. 

It may not be what others think it should be but it will be what it should be. 

Love them. Educate them. Fill their eyes with wonder. Do what it takes to care for them. Help them succeed. Watch for the fruit. 

This is homeschooling success. Never homeschool failure. 

Related Posts

When you think you’re failing as a mom