Trust Your Instincts in Planning Your Homeschool

I’m a big proponent of trusting your instincts in life. Many may say to trust your gut. Or follow your intuition. Listen to that little voice inside, that inside “feeling” we all have a hard time describing. Maybe it’s God, maybe it’s our animal instincts. It can be any or all of this. So much of motherhood should be considered from this view, and homeschooling is not an exception.

But what does that mean when it comes to homeschooling? Let me help explain what it is by talking about what it is not.

It’s not about your emotions

When I say to trust your instincts in your homeschool, I am not talking about your emotions or feelings like when you are happy, sad, frustrated, or mad. There are many days in homeschooling where you will have a crying child. Or you need to go hide in the bathroom with some chocolate because you are plain overwhelmed and nothing is going right. You will run into curriculum that stumps you. You will have many days that you don’t know what in the world you got yourself into and you question everything. Those are all normal feelings and not what I’m talking about.

What I am talking about is that satisfied feeling you get after accomplishing something big and you feel like the world is just right. Like when you know you’re where you are supposed to be. When you look at your child and know you are doing right by them. And on the flip side, I’m talking about that feeling you get when you’re at the park and you just don’t feel safe. When you know something isn’t right with your child, even though all the doctors say he’s fine. Or when no matter what you do with this history curriculum, you just can’t seem to make it work for your family. It just “doesn’t feel right”. That deep, often unexplainable “feeling” you can’t make go away. It is God-given and biological.

A quick note while speaking of emotions. Don’t run your homeschool, or life in general for that matter, based on what feels good in an emotional sense. That’ll get you into all sorts of trouble and while it may be fun, I highly doubt anyone who “follows their heart” in this way will find success within this world. Taking walks in the woods and having absolutely no plans whatsoever your whole school year may make you totally happy and you will enjoy so-called homeschooling. But just because it makes you happy doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do any of the other things that don’t make you happy. School is hard. Life is hard. Find ways that work for your family to do the hard stuff along with the good stuff.

It’s about adaptation

Let’s talk about your plans and expectations. You set out on the school year anticipating a great year full of fun learning and everything is in order and all scheduled out. Then life happens and things get off track. You are constantly frustrated because you can’t do anything “right” and are not always on top of things. This does not mean you planned poorly or necessarily chose the wrong curriculum, though perhaps you did. It also doesn’t mean that something is telling you to completely change what you’re doing. It could mean you need to be a little more flexible though.

But in a very similar way, if you hate walking through the woods to “enjoy” nature like you feel you are supposed to, this could be a good chance to follow your instincts and stop. And if you are overwhelmed by the papier mache volcano and reading five books aloud each day like the curriculum suggests you do, I tell you it’s alright to not do it. Those resources you chose are great helps and while they may sound amazing and perfect, putting it into action is often another story. Truly you can adjust any curriculum to fit your needs. Some may take more work than others. So it does help to find a resource that is closer to fulfilling your needs and intuition as well as your children’s learning styles.

It’s a whole body connection

When trusting your instincts, you may get a sudden feeling of insecurity or an ongoing dread. Perhaps your stomach gets upset every time you drive up to the doors of co-op. Or you get anxious when you look at a list of science materials. Listen to the signs in your body telling you something isn’t right. If you want to cry every time it’s time to start school for the day, and so does your child, this is a sign that something needs to change. Not everything works for every family and it’s good to find your own way. Often it’s hard to tell if you just need to stick it out cause it’s hard or if you are completely burned out. Observing your body reactions can help you in this decision.

Lean in to it

So what happens once you have discovered you need to change something but don’t know how? Lean into it. Remember this doesn’t mean to switch curricula every week when things get hard. Maybe a small change or break is really what is needed. Give it time. Don’t do anything quickly and sit on your decisions. Take a break and focus on what is working while you figure out how to fix what isn’t working. Make small changes.

You see it’s really not about the curriculum. I’ve known people who could teach a full curriculum with just the daily newspaper, and they’d do a great job! There’s no point in jumping around looking for the magic curriculum that will suddenly make your kids love to learn with everyone singing kumbaya in the round. There sadly is no magic wand curriculum. The magic is in you.

You have it in you

There is no one better suited for this job of teaching your children than YOU. God didn’t make a mistake when he gave you these kids. He wasn’t laughing, thinking “haha this will teach her!” when your son was born. You haven’t been wasting your time all these years learning what makes your children tick only to have to rely on someone else to tell you how to teach them to read. You are the one who knows what food they like, what they need when they fall down crying. Why aren’t you the one who knows how to help them learn well? There is no one who knows and loves your children better than you.

Ask for help

For some people, it’s hard to trust your instincts since all you have ever known is to just do what you’re told and follow the plan. So take your time and get some input when making a big change. Allow yourself to trust. But ultimately the decision is yours.

Anxiety is also another big factor when it comes to trusting your instincts. Anxiety can make you think there are problems when there really aren’t, so once again take time for change. You may feel your anxiety and not be able to trust your instincts. Look around at how things are going and how your kids are handling things for clues on how to proceed. This is also another great opportunity to get your spouse or friend involved in homeschooling decisions and plans.

Wrap it up

I’ve heard it said that you can tell if someone is a good mom because she is always questioning. She’s so critical on herself, always doubting things, second guessing, looking for ways to improve. These are all good things in many ways because you aren’t satisfied with mediocre for your kids. I know moms can be so easily swayed by everyone and everything around us and end up not focusing on what our intuition – what God – is telling us. And right here I want you to know that you are enough. You have exactly what you need for your children. It’s all in there. Trust your instincts, mama.