Starting this website, I had no idea how much I would need to learn.
Every time I turn around, there’s a new skill, a new system, a new problem to solve. I’ve been doing this for about four years now, and while I’ve learned so much, I still wouldn’t call myself an expert.
Mostly, I’d say I’ve just gotten more comfortable being a learner.
Homeschooling has been the same way.
Even though I was homeschooled growing up, I didn’t magically know how to homeschool my own kids. I had to learn about curriculum, about what works for these kids (not theoretical ones), and about how to build habits and rhythms that actually fit our family.
And honestly, parenting in general has been one long learning curve.
Each stage brings something new to figure out. I’m constantly learning alongside my kids: about their interests, their struggles, how they process things, and what kind of support they need in a given season. Even learning math again.
The longer I do this, the more I realize:
This is just life. We’re always learning.
The goal beneath all the goals
Because we’re always learning, that’s why one of my foundational goals in our homeschool is not finishing 13 years of curriculum or perfectly preparing my kids for college. Though that door is absolutely open and we do real academic work with that in mind.
My biggest goal is this:
To help my kids to learn how to learn.
Because if they can do that, everything else becomes accessible.
College. Tech school. Trades. Entrepreneurship. Careers that don’t even exist yet.
Life will require learning long after formal schooling ends.
Jobs change.
Circumstances change.
Challenges arise that don’t come with a teacher’s guide or answer key.
The ability to figure things out – to persist, adapt, and grow – is what carries people forward.
And that ability doesn’t come from checking boxes alone. Or not checking them at all.
Why I’m frustrated by the learning styles obsession
When it comes to learning styles, this is where I often feel out of step with common homeschooling advice.
One of the first things many people suggest to new homeschoolers is:
- figure out your child’s learning style
- identify your homeschool philosophy
- start choosing curriculum
And honestly? All of that bothers me.
Not because learning styles or philosophies are useless, but because they’re often treated as foundational, when they’re really just tools.
And by golly, new homeschoolers are learning enough as it is. You don’t need to also study educational philosophies and styles. Not to mention that what might appeal to you at the time is not always what will work!
When you take this route, children are quickly labeled as auditory, visual, etc. learners, then stuck in the box of a homeschool method – like Charlotte Mason or unit studies.
And then everything is filtered through those lenses.
Sure, that may bring you short-term peace and make homeschooling enjoyable and somewhat easy. But the question then comes:
What world are we preparing our kids for?
I’m not sure it’s the real world.
You see, life doesn’t teach exclusively in your preferred format. We need kids who are adaptable and flexible and know how to overcome anything that comes their way.
If we focus too heavily on matching instruction to comfort, we risk raising kids who struggle when learning feels unfamiliar, boring, or hard. And learning will feel unfamiliar, boring, and hard at times. No matter how well we plan.
Understanding preferences can be helpful. Limiting learning within that is not.
Read more: 17 Types of Homeschooling Styles and methods
Learning how to learn goes deeper than style
Learning how to learn involves much more than how information is delivered.
It includes things like:
- connecting why something matters
- knowing how to organize information in a meaningful way
- focusing on understanding, not just memorization
- finding joy in learning
- recognizing when you don’t understand something, and knowing what to do next
One of the most important skills I try to cultivate in my kids is helping them to find joy in knowledge.
Because the world around us is so incredibly amazing! And the vast knowledge that is at our fingertips is astonishing.
People are awesome.
Technology is awesome.
History is super interesting.
Stories are fascinating.
If we first miss sight of the whole point of knowledge, none of this other stuff even matters.
I also make sure my kids understand how to identify what’s worth remembering and why.
Not simply to pass a test.
Not just to get the right answer.
But to gain knowledge and understanding of the amazing world around us.
When information connects to meaning, purpose, or real understanding, the details often stick more naturally. When it doesn’t – when the brain doesn’t see value – it lets it go. That’s not laziness. That’s how learning works.
This is also why endless memorization without context rarely leads to lasting understanding.
It’s also why many kids grow to hate history, or science, or reading. Because they are forced to memorize dates and answer questions, rather than finding what in the world fascinates them about any given topic and understanding how this information can help them in their life.
Why kids need to learn in more than one way
Because I don’t buy into the idea that learning styles must be prioritized, in our homeschool, this means my kids don’t always get to learn in the easiest or most preferred way.
They read textbooks.
They write papers.
They do worksheets and practice skills the traditional way.
That’s intentional. They’re learning how to “play the school game” so they can navigate structured environments if they choose to. College and corporate jobs included.
But they’re also learning through:
- hands-on projects
- real-life problem solving
- conversations
- curiosity-driven exploration
- reading for pure enjoyment, without accountability attached
Learning how to learn means being flexible and resilient.
It means discovering strengths and learning how to work through weaknesses.
Doing hard things.
Stretching.
Persisting.
Not because life is harsh, but because it’s demanding, and our kids deserve to be equipped for it.
What this looks like in real life
Practically speaking, this is what learning how to learn often looks in real life:
- helping a child sit with discomfort instead of immediately switching methods
- learning in a variety of ways
- breaking big tasks into manageable steps
- teaching them how to study, not just what to study
- encouraging effort without demanding perfection
- knowing when to push and when to pause
- encouraging learning near the top of their abilities so they grow (not too hard or too easy)
It means not forcing learning into every moment, too. This is a soapbox of mine.
Not every interest needs to be optimized. Not every book needs a worksheet. Not every field trip needs a report. You don’t always have to have something to demonstrate knowledge gained.
Joy matters. Curiosity matters. Sometimes learning can just be left alone without “proof.”
A love of learning can be crushed just as easily as it can be cultivated. Ask any adult who hates reading, and I guarantee it comes back to being forced to read certain books in school, then endlessly questioned about it afterwards.
I am one of those adults, and have since learned to love books, and I refuse to hurt my children in this same way.
The long view
Yes, my kids learn math.
Yes, they study history.
Yes, they write papers and do real academic work.
But they also have meaningful discussions, dive deep into projects and interests, and love to read even challenging books.
But underneath all of that, they are learning something deeper:
They are learning that they can learn anything.
And that, more than any curriculum choice or philosophical label, is what I believe truly prepares them for life.
So before fully committing to a homeschool style, philosophy, or method, I think it’s worth asking:
Will this help my child become a capable, confident learner, no matter where life takes them?
That question has guided our homeschool far more than any label ever could.
And to take this one step further, I want to add that no, you don’t actually have to choose only one philosophy or style, or any at all!
So do the math, do the writing, have fun, enjoy learning. But more than anything, remember we are preparing our kids to be lifelong learners.
And more than any worksheet, passing on the value of learning on its own will trump practically anything else you will do for your kids.
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